Merry Christmas!

This Christmas season has been bittersweet for Amber and I. We are happy to celebrate the birth of a baby boy 2000 years ago that eventually grew up into the Savior. I unfortunately had to work Christmas Eve so I missed our church's candlelight service. Amber and her parents went. It was a well done service and explained the whole Gospel. Jesus was born to die for our sins and rise again so we may have life. After all Amber and I have been through, that message rings home more than anything. We know the pain the Father must have felt to see his Son die. We also know the joy the Father had when His Son sat down next to Him after all was finished. We believe that one day we will see our kids, healthy and playful. That is our hope. We hope also that all our family and friends have had a merry Christmas. It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Amber is doing better health wise. We were able to rent a wheel chair to get Amber around town and do some shopping. Today that is no longer needed. Amber cannot walk far still, but is doing much better walking through stores. We are both still sad and will probably grieve for a long time. I get the feeling this will be a new part of our life for the next year or two. Possibly longer. We still hope for a family and what God would have for us. We will explore all our options once again which will include adoption and natural birth. We do not know if another try at fertility treatment is in our future or not. Please pray for us to have wisdom and seek God's will in all of this.

Other than this...we have had a happy time with our family celebrating Christmas. Amber's brother Tommy and his family came to visit a couple of days before Christmas. It was hard to see Tommy and Jen's baby girl Allie, but we are very proud aunts and uncles. Allie's favorite toy became a Glow Worm that Amber's mom had bought her. It was fun to watch Allie smile and giggle at it. Amber's parents will be leaving for home tomorrow and my parents will be returning for New Year's. It has been good to have family around us. We appreciate everyone's help, support and prayers.

What Happened?

While I am not an M.D. this is my best attempt to piece together what Amber went through medically. There is still a few things we do not know, and I'm probably going to get some terminology wrong. Still, here we go. If you do not want to know details of what happened, skip below to another post.

While my Aggies were slapping around the longhorns Friday after Thanksgiving, Amber starting having some discharge with a little blood. She called the doctors and nurses. At halftime of the game, we left for the hospital. I am glad we did. We drove to the UTMB John Sealy Hospital in Galveston which is only about 30 minutes for us. We got into an examining room and the doctor did her examination. It is usually not a good thing when the doctor goes, "Oh No!" That was the case for us as well. Amber was having some small contractions, but what we thought was pre-term labor was not the case. It turns out that our little Amanda's sac was coming through Amber's cervix. The doctor used the word "bulging" to describe this which does not help either. They pulled over a hospital bed and moved Amber from the examining bed to it while keeping her flat. Over the weekend, Amber was on her head in the bed, basically tilted back on a slight decline in hopes to keep the sac from bulging more. After several doctors looking at her situation over the weekend, the common opinion was that Amber had an incompetent cervix. Why use the word "incompetent" to describe it, I have no idea. You would think that there was some other more sophisticated word to describe this conditions, but no. Amber's contractions slowed some over the weekend, but the sac broke on Monday. Doctors tell us it should have broke earlier and it was inevitable. Amanda held on for three more days and was stuck with her hand. On Wednesday, the doctors were able to somehow reposition Amanda so her hand was put back and was turned head down. Early Thursday morning, Amanda was delivered naturally. I cannot believe what my wife endured for that. Amanda was born at 22 1/2 weeks but was well developed for that stage. Unfortunately, her lungs were not developed. The doctors were able to tie off her placenta and put it back in hopes of keeping Andy and Katelyn in place. Over the next weekend, Andy began to take Amanda's spot and his head was down. We hoped he would not go any further. On Monday, Dec 3, his head was right at Amber's cervix and ready to come. By Friday, his sac started to bulge through the cervix and it became apparent he was coming out. Friday afternoon, Amber delivered Andy. Katelyn was not far behind as well. They both made it to 23 1/2 weeks which was not quite far enough along to survive. Andy was close. It turns out that Katelyn's placenta had separated and may have had a blood clot as well. We know we and the doctors did everything to save them. We hoped for a better ending, but this is what God had for us. Unfortunately, there was no indication of Amber having an incompetent cervix as ultrasounds a 2-3 weeks before showed everything was fine. This is just one of those things that you find out about after the fact.

From here, we hope to still have children of our own, but will not pursue fertility treatment. God could change that, but Amber and I both feel God has something else planned for us. We will try to get pregnant on our own, but adoption seems to be the path for us. We do not know how all of this will unfold, but we trust God. We have no choice but to do so. Thanks for reading my ramblings. It has been good to process all of what has happened. -Scott

Thank You!

Again, we would like to thank our friends and family. We appreciate the thoughts, prayers and "I'm sorry" comforts. The cards and flowers have brought smiles to our faces. Thank you.

I know it is hard to say anything when you so much want to say something. We understand if you don't know what to say, we would not know what to say either. All I can say is just saying, "I'm sorry for your loss." or "We're praying for you." is quite enough. We appreciate that people care and want to express that. Other than that, there is not much else to say. -Scott

Last Week...

This past week has been good at times and tough at times. Amber continues to slowly recover. Health-wise, she is doing better. She is still weak in her muscles and cannot walk far or very long. She continues to improve in that. Amber has lost a lot of weight as well. I don't recommend her diet to anyone, but she has lost about 40 lbs from her pre-pregnancy weight. She gained weight mainly due to fertility drugs and the stress of moving to the Houston area. The doctor seems to think she may lose another 10 lbs mainly just due to recovering from the hospital and hormones balancing out over time. The good thing is that Amber continues to improve and is getting stronger. We hope that next month we can get her into an exercise program to build endurance in her muscles.

Emotionally, the past week has been a roller coaster. We each have our moments, but Amber still takes it hard as she should. We try to keep her in a safe environment with family around and doing simple things each day. It has been good to go to our church life group and yesterday we went to church for the first time since leaving the hospital. While difficult to see everyone, it was good to hear the Word preached. It is this kind of medicine that will help us emotionally as well as spiritually.

Spiritually, we are strong and weak. We have a good God. We believe we have a good God. We know that God has a plan for us and our family. We have no idea what that looks like, but we push forward with faith in Him. We cast our anxiety on Him each day. We still wonder why this happened and why us. We do not wish what we went through on anyone. Evidently God thinks we can handle this, and will do so through depending on Him. We have discussed all the 20/20 hindsight situations and scenarios, and keep coming back to the same conclusion. This was going to happen regardless of any circumstance. We still do not know what God is trying to teach us other than we have no other choice but to trust Him for a family. We are weakest when we think about why God would let someone who does not want kids to have them, and why ours were taken away when we want them so much. The Lords ways are not our ways, nor can we understand them. We have to trust that even though it is hard. The only thing we can do is cling to His Word. Psalm 34 and 73 have been helpful in that regard. We hope these psalms are encouraging to you as well. -Scott

Back Home...

Amber's health improved overnight as she had a low grade fever. She was doing better this morning and we were able to go home. We got home and had lunch. She is now sleeping this afternoon and will slowly recover her strength. Full recovery will be slow, but will get easier each day.

Again we appreciate everyone's comments, prayers and encouragement. I'm not sure how much more we will update the blog, but I think we may have a few more entries this week. It has been helpful to write out our thoughts on all that has happened. Thank you again for reading and keeping up with us.
-Scott

Hope until there is no more reason to hope...

One of our kindest doctors said to hope until there is no more reason to hope. Sadly, we have come to that realization. Amber started to bleed more than usual early this afternoon. By 2pm, she was ready to deliver Andy. The contractions were not bad, but she still had an epidural to help. Andy was born at 239pm this afternoon. Katelyn followed shortly after that at 250pm. Andy was at a decent size but still too small to survive. Katelyn was even smaller than Amanda was. Andy might have had a chance to make it, but probably would not have made it out of the NICU. It turns out that Katelyn's placenta had separated partially, and there was a blood clot in it. Amber is now recovering tonight in the hospital and we hope to go home tomorrow. We are thankful for doctors that have done everything they could to save our babies. Amber was a strong trooper through the whole thing. She did not quit at all.

We thank you for your prayers and support. I wish there was a better outcome, but we know that Amanda, Andy, and Katelyn are with Jesus. We praise God for this. We will post more later and also try to call close friends when we find time tomorrow. Thank you again for your prayers!

Do not grow weary . . .

Dear friends and family,

Amber received her second of two steriod shots today. These shots are meant to help develop the babies' lungs. God and these babies just continue to defy all that seems medically possible. Please continue to pray for Amber, Scott, Andrew, and Katelyn. Your prayers and God's mercies are keeping us afloat. Physically, Amber is miserable. When we feel we have found the solution to one physical problem, that solution creates another problem. It is truly amazing how interwoven the parts of our bodies are. Only the one true and all-powerful God could make a human body intricately. Specifically, continue to pray that Amber will be as confortable as possible, that she will not develop an infection, that the contractions will remain irregular, and that the babies will grow, grow, grow. Thank you for going this way with us. - Paula

In one week...

A week ago Amanda came into our lives and sadly left just as quickly. We miss her but know she is in a better place. We will see her some day. In one week after her coming into our lives, Andy and Katelyn have stayed put. Amber had some stronger contractions last night, but the doctors gave her some different medicines to calm things down. She has been sleeping off and on this morning. The good news is that the doctors think Andy and Katelyn are far enough along to get a steroid shot to help their lung development. Amber was given the first shot this morning and there will be another tomorrow. While we remember that a week a go we lost Amanda, we still have hope for Andy and Katelyn. We will continue to hope for one more day that each of them stay put and hope this is God's plan for us. This is all in God's hands, at his feet, before His throne. We trust Him no matter the outcome. Please continue to pray for Amber, that the contractions will stay at a minimum for as long as possible, the babies will continue to develop, and there will be no infections. Pray that we will continue to hope until there is no more reason to hope. Thank you all for your comments, support and prayers. It has been all overwhelming and humbling. Thank you! -Scott

A little walk outside...

Today has been a good day for us with only a few minor hiccups - going potty is not all that fun. Despite that, 2 of the nurses traced out a route to wheel Amber outside in her bed. Yes, she has to stay flat in the bed, but we managed to get her outside. We wheeled her to the elevator, went down 3 floors, and walked out the main doors. We went around the corner to a quiet area with trees. There was a little breeze but bright blue skies. Amber had her sunglasses on and was able to enjoy the fresh air. We took picture of all of this so maybe we can post some pictures. This brightened up the day for a good hour or so. Amber had a good time outside and it was a blessing to enjoy some time outside.
-Scott

Day 2 Day...

It is another day and so far so good. Amber is doing well, and maybe better than yesterday. We'll see how it goes. We are lucky to have a room with a window. While the room is small, we can let the sun shine in and see the blue skies. It has been good to have the sun even though Amber has been dozing off a lot. She is quite the trooper and so proud of her no matter what happens.

Today I remembered James 5...not to worry about tomorrow, but we will do today what the Lord has for us to do just to paraphrase. Not only that, it was encouraging to read about perseverance and how God blessed Job because of it. What an amazing God we have no matter what the end result is.

I am thankful for my job and appreciate their support. I hate for them that I've had to take off work from mid shifts; I wish mid shifts on no one. But I've needed to be here for my wife. I miss my work as I love the weather and love forecasting. But there are more important things right now. Thanks again for your support!
-Scott

God's mercies are new every morning

God continues to amaze the doctors by keeping Andrew and Katelyn safe and secure. If we can hang on for two more days, the doctors will give Amber a steroid shot that will help the babies' lungs develop. We are so blessed to have Christian doctors and nurses who quote scripture and pray for us. Your continued love and prayers are appreciated.

Uncharted Territory...

Each and everyday is a God thing. Never in our wildest dreams did we think we would get pregnant with triplets, and when we found out, we knew this would be different from any other pregnancy. We thank God for the good days after Amber made it through a long period of "morning sickness" or as I called it, everyday sickness. God knew this was going to happen and we have been amazed at how He has given us the strength to make it. When Amanda was going to come into the world, the doctors did everything they could to save the other two. What they did was something that only has been done a handful of times. Again uncharted territory. We know that God wanted Amanda for His kingdom, and we hope that Andy and Katelyn will continue to stay put. At the same time, we know this is all in His hands. Whether Andy and Katelyn come the next couple of days or not, God holds us. I know He is saddened for us, but it is still all about His Glory which I cannot understand. We do not know what His plan for us will be, but we gladly push forward with His strength. I wish there was something I could say to encourage us all in these dire yet hopeful times. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding. We hold onto our Savior and hope for the best. Pray for us to have stregnth to carry on as we wait for what God has for us. Psalm 23. -Scott

Still holding

Good morning family and friends,

Amber and the babies are still holding at this point (8:40 a.m.). I think the anticipation/waiting is getting to all of us. We go from sorrow and hurt to maybe there is a chance and then back to sorrow and hurt again. Amber and Scott are handing things so amazingly well and are quite a great witness to God's love and support. I personally have seen staff here touched by Amber and Scott's faith and trust in the Lord and their kindness toward the staff which could have only come from the Lord at this time. We are learning that it is not just "church talk" that He will give you the strength you need when you need it. He is good - all the time.

We love you all and treasure your prayers.

Sad news

Amber had a high definition ultrasound this morning which did not give a positive outlook for the babies. Truly, it looks as if the Lord might want Andrew and Katelyn to join He and Amanda in heaven instead of living here on earth. Nothing is definitive yet and all things are possible, but your continued prayers for Amber and Scott are needed and appreciated.

Our love to you all.

Where we are now.

As most of you know, we lost little Amanda Grace on Thursday, November 29. She was beautiful. She weighed 13 oz. and was 10 1/4 inches long. Every attempt is being made to keep the other two babies "tucked in" for as long as possible. The doctors cannot give us percentages on their chances because we are in "uncharted territory." Should they deliver prior to December 11, chances are that they will not make it. Although chances for survival are still slight at December 11, there is a chance. Each day after that increases their chances. We would like to make it to at least January 8 which is 28 weeks.

Please pray specifically for these:

1. That Amber and Scott will feel God's love and the love of His people as they mourn the loss of Amanda Grace and that they will have a peace about Andy and Katelyn.

2. That Amber's contractions will continue to remain at bay.

3. That the sacs of Andy and Katelyn will not rupture.

4. That Amber will not develop a uterine infection. This is a very real possibility and would be a danger to the babies and to Amber.

5. That Amber's miserable side-effects from the medications will ease.

Thank you to all of you who are praying and loving on us.

We will be updating this blog as often as we can.

You may post comments to Amber and Scott by clicking on the comments button on this blog.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1